Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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