Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
