Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
