shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
