I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
