Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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