we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize