the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
