I have demons in me.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
