why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
