We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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