Someone shit on the floor
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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