And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
