Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
