it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Randomize
