I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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