KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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