i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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