we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
it's great music for shaving your balls
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
