I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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