he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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