Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
two words: eviction party
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
