wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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