ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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