I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
