Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
