her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I think weed is turning my hair brown
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I am never drinking with the goths again.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
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