i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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