dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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