just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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