Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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