You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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