I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
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