google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
