i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
