Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
