What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
