What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
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