are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
