Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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