return my video game
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
