She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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