What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
