I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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