no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
