Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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