Umm I'm too high to move.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
