I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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