I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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