I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
