They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
