so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
