The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
