when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
