I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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