Define "chronic" masturbator.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize