Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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