Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
