At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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