I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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