Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
