taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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