YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
