It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Randomize