Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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