ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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