happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize